


It's Tough to Love in War

by Karai_Mepozalar



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Child Death, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Eating Disorders, F/F, Family Issues, Grief/Mourning, Lotor's sister, Miscarriage, Non-Canon Relationship, Out of Character, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Romantic Angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-09-21 01:55:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17034216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karai_Mepozalar/pseuds/Karai_Mepozalar
Summary: The paladins rescue a Galran girl that they found floating out in space. But upon bringing her into the castle, they draw conclusions as to who she is related to and what she believes, much to her dismay. Krolia takes her under her wing and helps her acclimate to life amongst the paladins and on the castle. While doing so the team learn more about the Empire from an inside source and about the Prince that caused more pain than they could ever imagine.





	1. Chapter 1

“She’s a Galra. We can’t help her. Just let her wake up and send her off in an escape pod.” Lance urged with his back turned to the window that they were all looking through.

“We can’t just leave her out there to die.” Allura said to him.

“Every time a Galra comes into this caste something bad happens. No offence.” He said, looking at both Keith and Krolia.

“None taken, but Allura is right. If we want things to be better between us and the Galra, we can’t just leave ones who need help out to die. Just because she wears the uniform, doesn’t mean she believes what she is told.” Krolia said.

“It’snot just the fact that she’s a Galra. Who does she look like?” Lance asked as they all got a good look at the Galran girl.  
“She’s a half-blood,” Shiro said in a matter of fact voice.

“She looks like Lotor.” Lance said to them, “Didn’t you see that when we brought her in here?”

“We have to give her a chance. Because if she isn’t hostile, we turned away someone who needed our help.” Allura told them.

After she finally woke up, they needed to go in and talk to her and see what she knew and what side she was truly on. They picked out Krolia to go in because she still had her Galra Empire uniform that she would at least recognise.  
“Good luck,” Keith said and Krolia nodded slightly. She had played the part of a Galran officer for many years now. This wouldn’t be any form of a challenge for her. Walking towards the bed that was sealed up inside the beam that usually held prisoners. The girl was just laying on her back and still staring up at the ceiling blankly. 

“We found you floating out in space. But you’re safe in here.” Krolia said and the girl turned her head. As soon as her eyes focused on Krolia, they filled with rage.

“Safe? Safe?! You really think I am that stupid? I know what you Galra bastards do to prisoners. I will never go down like this, not without a proper fight!” She snarled at her.  
“You don’t understand…” Krolia said calmly, but the girl cut her off.

“Oh I understand perfectly what you’re going to do to me,” she snarled and she stood up quickly, “I will end all you Galra who follow the empire. I will end my brother and whoever else stands in my way!” She ran to attack Krolia, but she hit the beam head first. She hit it so hard she actually knocked herself out. Krolia quickly hit the button that brought down the barrier between them. As the girl was falling back, Krolia caught her before she could hit her head on the metal part of the bed. She gently lifted her back into the bed and put the blanket over her. 

\----------------------------

“What were you doing? She could have been faking it and she could have managed to attack you!” Keith said angrily. He had almost lost everything in his life and there was no way he was going to risk losing his mom as well.

“When she actually looked at me, I saw so much hurt and pain in her eyes. Something just told me she is hurting so bad she needs the help.” Krolia said to them all.  
“But we heard the venom in her voice when she spoke about the Empire. Do you recognise her from the Blades?” Shiro asked.

“No, I've never seen her before.” Krolia admitted.

“Let her wake up and calm down. Then we can try and see where she stands in this war.” Allura said to them.

“Wait, she said she would ‘end her brother’. And she looks a lot like Lotor..” Lance started.

“She hated Lotor as well. She might be on our side.” Pidge said, “I hacked a lot of Galran files. Maybe I can get something on her.”

“Good thinking Pidge,” Shiro said and Pidge nodded, running off with her computer.

\----------------------------

It was a hard night for all of them. Having a Galra half-blood who they didn’t know in the castle caused deep worry for all of them. The fear of her breaking out in the middle of the night and potentially killing them in their sleep. No one left their rooms during the night and the Paladins slept with their bayards within reach. Ready for anything that could happen during the night. Even with the late night searching by Pidge, they found nothing about her. It was like she was stricken from every record she had. It was far too suspicious as a whole.

\-------------------------

In the morning, Pidge wanted to have a go at talking to the mystery Galra. But the other paladins would not let her go in there alone. Hunk and Lance insisted on going with her. Pidge had a whole list of questions for her. They stayed a few steps back from her, just in case she tried to pull something on her as well.

“It’s not like I can get out and hurt you, you know. This shield thing keeps me in place,” she said bluntly to them.

“Just making sure. I mean, you’re basically related to Lotor.” Lance commented. That caused her to start shaking with rage and she got up off the bed, her teeth bared in rage.

“Don’t link me to that son of a bitch EVER!” she shouted at the three of them. A purple energy surrounded her hands, shooting it at the barrier Fortunately, the barrier just absorbed it, leaving the three paladins unharmed, but in shock.

“Let's go in case she actually breaks it down.” Hunk whispered to the other two. They had already started backing away from her. Hunk joined them and they left her in her solitary confinement 

The other paladins rushed to make sure that they were alright and Krolia kept an eye on the girl. She sat back on the bed with her hands on her head. She could feel something was off with her and made a mental note to not mention Lotor at all around her. She was sensitive to that topic.


	2. Chapter 2

Allura wanted to have a shot at prodding at her mind. They still had no information about her and she hadn’t given up any information about the Galra or her brother. Coran would not let her out of arms reach as they both went down and stood in front of the beam that kept her secured while the rest of the team watched from the window. Allura didn’t want to make any missteps that would cause her to become angry at her, so she brought her some food. The girl looked up when she heard the footsteps and her face changed into one of suspicion when she saw Allura holding the food.

“I thought you would be a little hungry,” Allura said and Coran made a small opening in the beam so Allura could gently push the tray in for her. She took it from the barrier and she ate it almost like an animal that he been starved.

“My name is Allura.” She started.

“That Altean princess, right?” The Galra asked her as she looked up.

“How did you know about that?” Allura asked curiously.

“I’ve heard your name being thrown around a few times.” She stated bluntly and went back to eating.

“What about you, what’s your name?” Coran questioned. The question took her slightly by surprise and she stopped eating. 

“Nothing important,” she said, without even looking at the two of them and keeping her gaze downcast.

“When we mentioned the prince, you just snapped at us, why?” Allura asked cautiously.

“Why didn’t you? The Prince and the Princess, right?” she smirked and her voice had a new tone to it as she looked Allura in the eye. She knew. She knew what had happened between the two of them. Allura needed to turn away from her to avoid shouting at her and making the situation worse.

“Why do you act the way you do towards us?” Coran interjected, trying to move the attention away from Allura.

“I don’t know, that’s just how I work,” she said, her smirk never leaving her lips. Coran put an arm around Allura’s shoulders and walked her back before anything else could happen between them. 

\----------------------------

She kept playing her game for almost two weeks. The paladins had all since given up trying to get any information from her. But Krolia refused to give up, it wasn’t in her nature to quit. She would sit in front of her and wade through the sea of sarcasm that the Galra threw at her. But this girl would not give up.

“Look, I’m not going to give up. You’re either going to answer or I will break you down into little pieces and take the answers from you.” Krolia threatened, but it just made her laugh. 

“Go ahead and try. After what I have seen, there’s not a lot that can phase me.” She smirked at her while laying on her stomach with her legs in the air.

“You’d be surprised what I have done to Galra soldiers.” Krolia now matched her smirk and stood right at the barrier.

“Oh really? How hard did you ride them? And how long did it take to break them?” She asked and rolled onto her back with her hands behind her head, but Krolia just waved her off.

“I was in charge of interrogating Galra prisoners.” She explained to her, and that made her pay attention.

“But… you’re a Galra.” She said as she sat up and Krolia had a small smirk on her lips, knowing that she had finally gotten through to her. The Galra girl had lost all sarcasm in her voice as she listened to Krolia. 

“I’m part of the Blade of Mamora. We left the Empire because he didn’t believe what they preached or what they did.” Krolia told her and her eyes widened.

“I’ve heard of you,” she said softly and she stood up, moving closer to the barrier. 

“You should have, We’ve been making things hard for your Empire.” Krolia joked and it made her let out a small chuckle.

“I wasn’t exactly allowed to know about a lot of things,” she admitted softly and Krolia nodded.

“That’s not very good. How did you end up being out in space the way you were? There was clearly a battle around you. And you had a weapon nearby.” She questioned her.

“M-My adoptive mother. She made sure I knew how to protect myself if anything ever happened and she wasn't there to help me.” The girl told her and Krolia nodded. 

The other paladins had been watching the whole time and they were shocked, to say the least while watching. Krolia had been able to withstand the long line of snide comments to get this strange soldier to talk to her and reveal anything.   
“So she’s adopted huh?” Lance commented.

“That makes it a little harder for me to figure out who she is,” Pidge said and adjected her glasses. 

“So what now? She’s adopted, but she still looks so much like Lotor.” Lance said.

“That family must be more complicated than we thought it was,” Coran commented and stroked his chin a little bit. 

\------------------

The next day, Krolia found herself back at square one for Krolia. The Galra girl was back at giving snide remarks and deep sarcasm, leaving the older Galran woman in shock, but still, she was determined to get something out of her and keep talking to her. Krolia had been sitting there for nearly an hour and was on the verge of giving up on her. She had one card left to play and she had saved it up for a moment like this. 

“I’ve got a son,” she said to her, and she got an instant reaction from the other Galra. She visibly tensed up and she quickly turned her back to Krolia and hung her head.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked cautiously as she walked up to where the beam separated them. From the other side, she heard a soft whimper. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” Krolia stopped herself. She had never needed to apologise to a Galra prisoner before and she even shocked herself with how gentle she could be about it. 

“I...was going to be a mother as well.” She admitted softly and she subconsciously rested a hand on her stomach. Putting two and two together, Krolia’s heart started breaking for her a bit.   
“I’m sorry,” Krolia said softly. Leaving Keith on Earth was hard enough on her. She couldn’t imagine the pain of losing him. 

“That bastard Lotor took everything from me.” She said while keeping her back turned to Krolia, “My son… my wife.” she started gritting her teeth together as the tears started falling down her cheeks. 

Krolia couldn’t leave her like that. She brought down the beam between them and she went around to the front of her, but she tried to turn away from her.

“You’re not alone here. I lost my lover, my son’s father. I promise you’re not as alone as you think.” Krolia told her and she gave the girl a gentle hug. It took a bit of time for her to return the hug, but she eventually did and they two of them stayed together for a little while. Krolia didn’t let go of her as she didn’t know how long she had needed that hug for. In that moment that they had together, they had both forgotten that the rest of the team was watching from the above room.

“I don’t want to, but I’ll have to put you back behind the beam. I have a lot to explain to the others.” She explained to her gently. The girl nodded and she stepped back from Krolia, although there was part of her that wanted to stay in her arms a little longer. Krolia stepped back from her, but she smiled softly at her.  
“How about I get a name to tell them?” she offered. The galra girl smiled and let out a weak chuckle.

“Karai. Call me Karai,” she said softly and Krolia nodded and stepped out of the area and put the beam back up. She had a lot to explain to the rest of the Voltron team.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as she returned to the others, they had a lot of questions for her. 

“What happened?” Keith asked, “She could have killed you!” He almost shouted the last part at her.

“Calm down, calm down.” Krolia said, “She’s a Galra rebel. She’s basically a rogue and she’s got nowhere safe for her to go.”

“Okay, that’s all well and good, but you know that’s not what we want to know about.” Lance crossed his arms.

“Listen, she’s hurting. She tried to attack me because I’m wearing the Galra uniform. Her brother has to be Lotor. It explains everything else. Like when she freaked out when you mentioned him.” Krolia explained to them all.

“What about that hug mom?” Keith questioned.

“I...I found out she lost both her wife and her child. That hurt to hear that. I couldn’t just leave her there to cry.” Krolia reasoned. All of her time being undercover among Galra had gifted her a great judge of character. The rest of the team had to trust what she was saying to them.

“Alright, but still, we can’t let her have free access to the castle or any of our ships,” Shiro said and Krolia nodded.

“Of course. We can’t just let her roam free and possibly get access to the lion. But we can’t just diss regard her as a no good Galra soldier either.” Krolia put forward.

“Krolia is right. With her being absent from all the Galra records she has to know something about them.” Allura said.

 

\------------------

It was another two weeks before they were comfortable enough to allow her out of that little cell. But the team wasn’t naive to what she was capable of. She wasn’t allowed near any of the engines, the armoury and the lions. They had also given her a little bracelet that acted as a tracking device so they knew where she was at all times. Krolia protested against the bracelet and was backed up by Pidge as well. But in the end, Karai just wore it anyway. The room they gave her was a decent distance away from everyone else’s so that she couldn’t attack them, but ever since she knocked herself out, she had become much more passive. Passive enough so that Keith went to visit her in the new room. 

“Hey. You know you can check who it is without opening the door, right?” Keith asked.

“Yes, I know. But I think that if I just let you in on the first try, you won’t think I’m hiding something.” She shrugged and spun around in her swivel chair, “What did you need from me?” she asked.

“I’m intrigued by you. While you were in that cell we kept you in, you were combative. Verbally. Now you’re a lot more open with talking to us. Why?” Keith asked her, but she just chuckled a little bit.

“It’s because I had no clue what you were doing with me. Would you sell me? Would you send me back to the Galra? Would you use me as ransom? Because if you were going to hold a ransom, they wouldn’t pay at all.” She said and stood up.

“What about your brother? Would he come and get you? Keith asked and she just laughed. 

“There is no amount of shared DNA that will make me call that long-haired bastard my brother,” Karai growled softly and she crossed her arms. But Keith just chuckled a little bit.

“I like you. And I think the others will as well.” Keith said with a soft chuckle. 

While sitting with them and eating, Karai was watching and trying to analyse their behaviour. But it turned out to be a lot harder than she could have thought. They just seemed to jump back and forth from all sorts of behaviour. They were like children. She was sitting beside Shiro and he seemed to be the most mature, calm and collected. She looked over at Keith, Lance and Pidge mainly. They were bickering back and forth as little kids would. Something felt off to her.

“They’re like children,” Karai commented to Shiro and he just laughed a little at her. 

“You haven’t noticed yet? They are all kids, well, teenagers now.” He told her and she looked over at all of them with the new lens. All their behaviour all made a whole lot of sense now. 

“How old are they all?” Karai asked him in surprise.

“Well, the youngest we have is Pidge. The oldest is Keith and not far behind is Allura.” Shiro chuckled a bit at her.

“The Galra empire has been thwarted by a bunch of kids this entire time.” Karai murmured to herself with her eye wide. Coran laughed a little while later.

“I am shocked that you didn’t know that before. You were always fighting teenagers.” He said to her with a smile. She was just sitting there in shock. Shiro could only shake his head and he kept eating.

Krolia was watching Karai as she ate. She was definitely raised differently to the others. Her back was straight up without the help of the chair. Karai would glance around her periodically and tried to take up as little space as possible. She also seemed to be sensitive to sound. When Coran dropped his fork on the plate, she jumped in shock and was on high alert. 

‘Poor thing must have seen some bad stuff.’ Krolia thought while eating with the others.  
“So Karai… Is there a connection between you and Lotor?” Hunk asked her.

“Genetically yes there is. But there is no way I will ever call him my brother again.” Karai explained to them. Krolia knew there was another layer to why she had cut contact with her brother and why she couldn’t really let go of it all. Krolia noticed that her grip on her fork had grown tighter. She watched her entire body language showed that she was scared. Krolia kept a close eye on her to make sure everything would be okay with her. 

Keith and Lance were arguing as they often did. Keith and Lance were going back and forth and they started throwing food at each other. When Lance threw another spoonful, he threw the metal spoon as well. Keith ducked to avoid the flying spoon.

“Ha! You missed!” Keith teased him. The spoon hit one of the metal walls and it made a huge sound from the velocity of the throw. The sound rang out through all the room. The others were more annoyed at the fact that they had made a huge mess around them. But Karai on the other hand, it was more of the sound of the spoon that affected here. She had her head down with her hands covering her ears. It took a good ten seconds before she sat back upright as nothing had happened. But Karai was still on very high alert.


	4. Chapter 4

They all were getting ready for a peaceful night in the castle. Lance was putting his face mask on before he would get into be and Pidge was brushing her hair to make sure she didn’t wake up with knots everywhere. 

“So what’s going on with our new member?” Lance asked her.

“I dunno. But I think that is will be good to have her around. She could help us out and teach us even more about the Galra and their battles. Krolia tells us what she knows from a soldier point of view. She can teach us from a higher up position.” Pidge shrugged and kept brushing.

“Do you trust her?” Lance questioned.

“I mean, I can’t say I totally trust her. But she’s not a snake like Lotor was.” Pidge told him.

“That’s true. I guess I can try and talk to her. But I’m not sure that she would want to.” Lance shrugged a little bit and evened out his mask.

“Give her a chance Lance. But let her get used to being around us first.” Pidge then grinned a little bit, “But I think that she will become more open to us all.”

 

Karai needed to stay in her room for the rest of the night. She wasn’t about to risk anyone thinking she was trying to gather information for the Empire. She was pacing back and forth in her room with her hands on her head. The loud noises triggered the memories that she had tried her very best to block out of her mind. She felt trapped in her own mind and she retreated tot the corner of her room with her knees pressed to her chest and her eyes closed tightly. She kept seeing that moment on that Galra ship. Where she saw her own brother run and let his sword slice through her wife’s body. She still felt the agonising pain in her stomach when he punched her and she felt something was so terribly wrong with her. Her mind just kept descending more and more into the darkness. All the pain and fear that only came out when she was surrounded by other Galra.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Narti.” Karai said while she was rocking back and forth with her hands on her head and tears were falling down her cheeks like waterfalls. That final glance from her wife before she was slaughtered plagued her mind. She didn’t push herself to get out from her spot. But when she eventually did, she got into bed and curled up under the blanket and the pillows to block out all light from around her. 

 

Sleep wasn’t easy for her to come by. She was still plagued by nightmares. She would see things like her sin and her wife over and over again all throughout the night. After seeing Lotor come at her with the sword instead of Narti, it forced her to wake up. She was sweating heavily, her hair was a mess and tangled up in the pillows and blankets. She let out a small sigh and sat with her legs hanging off the bed. At last, she could realise she is not really watching what was happening. She was far away from Lotor and away from the Empire. So maybe something good could come out of all of this. Maybe she could have a new start with these guys. And now that she knew that they were all kids, it would help her understand the new world around her a little bit.

 

She didn’t know what to say to the others. She felt like an outsider around them. Pidge and Hunk were chasing each other around the castle with the little water guns, much to the annoyance to the other adults were sitting on the couches. Karai sat near Krolia but made sure there was a feasible distance between the two of them. They could fit at least two people between them. Over time, Karai was slowly edging closer to the other to hear the conversation and possibly participate in the discussion. It was interrupted though when Pidge jumped down behind the couch at the exact moment Hunk fired his water pistol, soaking Shiro, Krolia and Karai. But mainly Krolia. 

 

Being a full-blooded Galra, Krolia still had a lot of traits that never were fully bred out of her. When the water got in her hair, she shook her head like an animal would when they tried to get dry. To say the least, it caught Karai off guard. It got even more water onto Karai and Shiro. Karai watched it, but when she watched it, she saw it in what looked like slow motion to her.

“Oh… I’m sorry.” Krolia said to them both.

“It’s alright. I’ll just change into something else.” Shiro said and glared over at Pidge and Hunk.

“I’ll have to talk to you later,” Shiro said to them both and the three left.

Sadly for Karai, she didn’t have any spare clothes like the others. She went to one of the bathrooms and she was wringing her hair out into one of the basins.  
“I hate all this hair. I miss having Ezor around.” She said to herself softly as she continued to wring out her hair, “Fucking long Altean hair.”

“Don’t knock the hair. It’s part of our shared heritage and our people.” She heard a familiar voice say and she turned and her gaze met with Allura.

“If you’re gonna laugh, do it now.” Karai spat at her and kept trying to dry out her hair.

“I’m not here to laugh. I’m here to help you out a little. You came here with nothing and I want to give you some more help.” Allura told her, but Karai just scoffed at her.

“Yeah right.” Karai rolled her eyes, but Allura handed her a hairbrush.

“Altean hair and water don’t mix very well. You need to brush it almost instantly after. Otherwise, you get a much bigger problem later.” Allura chuckled softly.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because you’re an Altean like me. We are Altean sisters and there are almost none of us left. I don’t want there to be so much hostility between us.” Allura explained to her.

“Please princess, don’t push it. You’re the one who locked me inside that beam for so long.” Karai said and she just started brushing her hair. 

“I’m really sorry about all of that.” Allura apologised to her and there was a deep sincerity in her voice, “But I still want to be friends and have some form of relationship with you.”

“Why? I am the child of the one who killed your family. I am related to that one that has tried to kill you in the past. Why wouldn’t you just leave me out in space?” Karai asked her.

“I kissed Lotor. I had feelings for him and I felt bad for him. Just being related to him isn’t grounds for me to instantly dislike you. I distrust you because I don’t know you.” Allura said to her.  
“And I can totally understand that.”

“I bought you a second gift.’ Allura said and she left a box beside her.

“Thank you,” Karai said and she had a small smile on her face as Allura left her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to warn everyone reading this chapter right now. I have added new tags to the description and I would like to add a trigger warning right here. This story begins to deal with some eating disorders and it does describe some very destructive behaviours. Just a warning now to everyone.

Karai took the box to her room and opened it up. Inside there was one of the black paladin suits that she could swap out with the one she had under her armour. As well as some other clothes that she could wear around the castle.   
“Thanks, Allura,” she whispered to herself and she changed into some of the more comfortable clothes for the day. The top was a bit smaller than she expected it to be, but it only showed her stomach when she lifted her arms. The pants were essentially human track pants and they all fit her quite well. The only thing that concerned her was the top since she didn’t want to show any skin around her stomach.

Krolia and Shiro got changed as well and the two water gun offenders had their weapons confiscated. Karai sat on one of the couches with one of the books she had found in her room. At least this way there was a higher chance people would leave her alone since she was busy.   
“Heeeeeeey!” She heard a voice say and she looked up over the book.

“Oh no.” she murmured to herself and looked up at him, “What do you want, Blue Paladin?”

“Um, the name’s Lance. And I came to apologise.” Lance said to her. 

“Okay. For what?” She asked suspiciously and raised her eyebrow.

“For what happened when you were behind the shields. When you freaked out.” Lance rubbed the back of his head a little awkwardly.

“It’s fine. You didn’t trust me. I don’t blame you for it, I wouldn’t trust me either.” Karai shrugged a little bit and she gave him a soft smile.

“Hey, you got the new clothes.” He had a slight bit of shock in his voice.

“Yeah. Allura gave them to me.” Karai said to him.

“They fit you okay?” He asked

“The top is a bit small, but they’re clean and comfortable. I can’t really complain.” She shrugged a little bit.

“I’m also sorry you can’t move around the castle as freely as the rest of us.” He apologised, but Karai smiled and waved him off gently.

“Don’t worry about it, Lance. You’re being safe and protecting yourselves. 

Krolia had gotten herself another outfit in case anything happened to either of her uniforms or she needed to blend into a crowd better. She had her tank top and her cargo pants and she came into the living space to see Karai and Lance talking. 

“I didn’t think I’d ever see this.” Krolia joked a little and the two of them both quickly looked up in surprise. Krolia had strong arms and broad shoulders, indicative of her being a battle-hardened soldier. Karai just looked on in shock and Krolia met her gaze. She could only see Karai’s shoulders and her head. She could easily see from that KArai was a lot slimmer than most other Galran women she had come into contact with. She could easily see her collarbone from the shirt.

“Karai, you don’t mind me asking about your weight, do you?” she asked cautiously and she sat down beside her.

“It depends on the question,” Karai said to her. 

“I can see your collarbone clearly and from a little bit of a distance while I’m used to seeing Galran women who are very built up and well fed. What happened?” She asked her. Lance chuckled softly and left the two of them to talk in private. 

“I’d assume that it’s the Altean in me. But the weight thing… I’m a little unsure of.” She told her.

“You are kinda skinny though. Your eyes are a little bit sunken in. I don’t know a lot about medicine, but that can’t be good for you.” She said to her. She didn’t realise what she was doing until she brushed her fingers over Karai’s hollowed cheeks and she could actually feel her cheekbones. 

The sudden touch sent a shock through her mind and she quickly reeled back, which brought Krolia back to reality.  
“I-I’m sorry.” Krolia quickly apologized and pulled her hand away from her face. Karai was floored by being touched out of the blue like that.

“It’s okay.” Karai sighed softly and calmed down a little bit and pushed some of her hair behind her ear. 

“I’m still so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Krolia said and she quickly got up and left the room out of embarrassment, leaving Karai in the room. She needed to lean back and she closed her eyes to steady her beating heart. The sudden contact was an almost alien feeling to her now since she had left her old team behind. 

No one saw Krolia until it was time for them to all eat. Karai sat at the same seat beside Shiro and opposite the other paladins. Krolia was still watching Karai as she ate. She was making sure that Karai actually ate, but was doing her best to be sure that no one would realise that she is looking. Karai didn’t seem to notice Krolia’s gaze, but Keith certainly did. 

“Mom, why are you staring at her?” He flat out asked her and all eyes went onto her.  
“I just have wandering eyes.” She responded calmly, but she rubbed the back of her neck, clearly embarrassed. Karai turned back to look at her food and started eating again. There was just something about how she ate that didn’t seem right.

She had disappeared after they had dinner and no one saw her after that. Krolia decided that she would pay her a bit of a visit and ask her if she needed any help since ate so oddly. She knocked on her door.  
“Karai? It’s me Krolia. Can I come in?” She asked gently and she stood back from the door and waited for her. But no one came to the door. All Krolia could assume was that she needed to be left alone for the night. She figured she would wait until the morning to try and talk to her again. 

Lance, though was friendly with Karai, was still suspicious of her. He still was a little uneasy about her. He had spotted her leaving her room not long after dinner and he wanted to know why. She still had her bracelet on that told them all where she was at all times, so sneaking around wasn’t an option for her. He followed her towards that bathroom and that’s what made it harder for him to follow her, with all the mirrors and stuff. She went into one of the stalls quickly and locked herself up inside, which gave Lance the chance to go in and hear and see what happened. But before he could even get close to her, he could hear what was going on in there. She was locked in the stall and throwing up. She was retching hard in there and she was in there for about half an hour. When the door unlocked, he ducked into one of the stalls but didn’t lock himself in, trying to make it look normal. Karai went over to the sink and started to wash her mouth out from the horrid taste. She just kept washing like that until she heard sudden footsteps and she looked up in alert, stepping away from the sink. Lance held his breath in the stall as well. When nothing happened, Karai splashed her face with the water until she felt better and she quickly left.


	6. Chapter 6

Little did both Karai and Lance know, there was someone else watching the two of them. Keith had seen Lance following Karai into the bathroom and he had no clue what Lance was up to and he didn’t know what Karai was doing either. When he heard Karai throwing up, a lot of the suspicions of Lance lifted away since Lance was still outside the stall. When she came out from the stall, Keith hid behind the wall and held his breath in case she heard him. He made a quick dash away from the bathroom and that was the sound that both Lance and Karai had heard. 

 

The next morning, they both watched her closely. But in their intent observation, they realised how slim she really was. Lance didn’t know what to do or who he could tell about this. So his first and essentially only option was to talk to Keith, who pretended to be clueless about what had happened the night before.

“Dude, have you noticed how skinny she is?” Lance asked

“Not really. Allura is kind of slim. Why are you looking anyway?” He teased him and he had a playful smirk.

“Yeah yeah. But seriously, have you?” He asked.

“Yes, I have noticed. Galra soldiers, even the Blades have more meat on their bones. I mean, look at my mom and Kolivan.” Keith shrugged a bit, “Why are you asking though?”

“I saw her go into the bathroom after we all went to bed. She was throwing up. I think there’s something really wrong here.” Lance said and Keith did his very best to feign shock.

“So you think she just eats just to throw it all up later?” Keith asked him. 

“I think so. She wasn’t running, so I think she does it on purpose. Like, with the fingers down the throat trick.” Lance said to him.

“Are you gonna ask her or something?” Keith asked.

“I… I actually don’t know. Should I go and tell Shiro?” 

“Look. Her heart could give out if she doesn’t stop. We have to at least try and help her.” Keith told him.

“W-Will you come with me?” Lance asked him and rubbed the back of his head nervously. 

“Yeah, I’ll come with you. This is something pretty important.”

 

The red and blue paladins went to see Shiro, who was standing near the teladuv and doing some scans of the area around them.  
“Shiro, we need to talk to you about something,” Keith said to him.

“What is it?” Shiro asked and he turned to the two of them. Keith nudged Lance with his elbow to get him to talk.

“Um… you know that new half gala we have around here? I think there is something really wrong with her.” Lance told him.

“What do you mean by ‘wrong with her’?” Shiro asked them with a raised eyebrow.

“I saw her going to the bathroom last night. She wasn’t running or anything like that. She went into one of the stalls and she just started throwing up. I think she purposely threw it all up after eating.” Lance told him and Shiro looked genuinely shocked to hear that. 

“Wow, that is very dangerous. But are you sure that it’s her doing it on purpose?” He asked them.

“I think so. She wasn’t running, so she didn’t seem nauseous.” Lance explained to him. Shiro had a hand on his chin while he was thinking.

“I don’t believe you’re lying. But I don’t think we know all of what’s going on. I will keep an eye on her after she eats breakfast.” Shiro said to the two of them.

\---------------------------------

Karai ate little after the others ate and she sat alone with Krolia. This time Krolia could really see the dark circles under her eyes and how sunken in her eyes were. Something was very off about her. She still looked very tired even though she had slept all through the night, or at least she through the night, or at least she thought. 

“How was the sleep last night?” Krolia asked her.

“I woke up a couple of times in the middle of the night, but other than that it was alright.” Karai said and looked at her with a soft smile, “What about you?” 

“I went to sleep a little later than usual. I went to go and see if you were alright, but you clearly were asleep.” Krolia chuckled softly and so did Karai.

“I fell onto my bed and was basically knocked out. I must have been exhausted.” Karai said. She knew that she was lying to her, but she had no idea how to tell her about anything.

“And you still have the dark circles under your eyes.” Krolia pointed out

“It’s like they don’t leave me. I’ve had them for most of my life. And I don’t think that time I spent suspended in space helped either.” Karai shrugged, “So hopefully it will all go up from here.”

“I hope so as well. Sometimes I fear you will just snap in half.”

“I don’t mean to worry you. I still have to get a little more used to this place. Then I might start sleeping a little better.” Karai smiled a little bit

“That’ll help a lot.”

 

It was a lot faster after breakfast. Krolia left to train, but Karai went straight to the bathroom. Shiro and the two boys followed her. She locked herself in one of the stalls,s just like the night before and the three of them heard her throwing up in there. Lance looked over at Shiro.

“Now do you believe us? She didn’t run.” Lance said to him.

“I now see what you were talking about.” Shiro nodded to them both.

“Dammit. I knew I ate too much.” They heard her say and they hear the lock change. They all had to slip outside behind the wall and they heard her turn on the faucet and she started to wash out her mouth.

“I shouldn’t have stuck around and spoken to Krolia. Now I have to work around this extra stuff in my stomach.” Karai said to herself as she washed out her mouth before leaving the bathroom, not seeing the others.

“You see? Something is really wrong.” Keith said to Shiro.

“Yes, I see that now,” Shiro said thoughtfully.

She had spent the best part of the day in the training rooms. She used a sword and attacked the drones that flew around her. The constant turning to slice through the drones was taking its toll and she was starting to get dizzy from spinning around and around. Even when she stopped spinning, the rest of the room kept spinning and she fell onto her knees with her hands over her eyes. Everything felt like she was still spinning around. The drones recognised she wasn’t moving anymore and they all shut down and left her alone. She was left in that room alone.  
“Oh god. What is wrong with me?” she asked herself as she held her head and stayed there on the ground. 

 

Krolia had gone looking to see how Karai trained and how she fought. But when she saw Karai kneeling down and holding her head, she ran straight to her side.  
“Karai!” she nearly shouted and she knelt down beside her, “Are you hurt?”

“N-N. Everything just kept spinning around and around and it got too much for me.” Karai’s voice was barely over a whisper. Krolia stayed beside her and put her hands on her shoulder to try and help her feel grounded. Karai was trembling slightly and Krolia could feel it under her palms, but even with the layers of clothing between them, Krolia could feel Karai’s bones sticking out slightly from her body. On top of that, she was cold. Really really cold.

“Damn, you’re cold.” Krolia said softly and she helped Karai to stand up slowly, “Is everything still spinning?”

“Yes,” Karai whispered. Krolia nodded a little and she put one of Karai’s arms around her shoulders and slowly started walking her out of the training room and through the corridors. Krolia didn’t anticipate the dramatic drop in temperature from the training room to the corridor and she felt Karai press in closer to her to try and preserve any body heat she had left. Krolia kept one arm around her waist to keep her upright and kept walking with her.


	7. Chapter 7

Krolia didn’t want to intrude on Karai’s space in her room, so Krolia brought her to her own room and sat her down on her bed. She gently pulled the blanket around her shoulders to keep her warm.

“T-This is your room.” Karai stuttered out to Krolia.

“I know. I didn’t want to intrude on your space.” Krolia told her

“Aren’t I intruding on your space?” Kaai asked innocently, which made Krolia chuckle softly. 

“No. If I brought you in here out of my own free will, it’s not intruding. Krolia said with a smile, “Isn’t that something you just kind of pick up while you are growing up?”

“Not exactly. I only knew one other kid my entire life and it was my brother.” Karai looked down at her feet as she said that and she kept shivering.

“Let's not worry about that now. Let’s focus on getting the world to stop spinning and you to warm you up a little.” Krolia said gently to her and Karai nodded a little bit.

 

Karai warmed up a little while being so close to Krolia, but she was still shivering, which scared Krolia a little bit and she went into full mom mode.

“Come on and lie down,” Krolia told her and Karai snapped up in attention.

“O-On your bed?” Karai asked her in surprise.

“Don’t worry about it is my bed. You need to warm up a lot more.” Karai nodded a little bit to her and she lay on the bed and Krolia got the blanket and wrapped it around Karai, who curled up to try and keep warm. Kolia lay behind her over the blankets and was gently rubbing her shoulders over the blanket. She still felt her bones under the blanket and that caused her a great deal of concern. They weren’t meant to stick out like that. Not like this. She gently felt a little lower and she felt Karai’s sharp shoulder blades. Something with Karai was really wrong and it scared her slightly, but it helped her understand why she struggled to keep warm. Things were slowly falling into place. Karai was still breathing heavily and it almost felt like she was struggling.

“Karai? Are you alright?” Krolia asked Karai and she turned her head to see her.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Your breathing. It’s like you’re struggling to breathe.”

“It’s always been like that,” Karai said softly, but Krolia didn’t believe it. It didn’t sound right.

“Okay.” Krolia decided to drop the subject and just keep her warm.

\-------------------

It took a long time before she actually warmed up to the point she could get up and walk around.

“That’s much better, isn’t it?” Krolia chuckled softly as Karai walked around the room.

“Yes. I can finally walk straight and not fall over myself.” She smiled, “Thank you. Thank you so much for helping me with this.”

“You’re most welcome. Galra have to stick together.” Krolia said and held out her hand for her and Karao took it with a smile.

“I wish I had some help to offer you as you do to me.” Karai brushed some hair from her face.

“Don’t worry about it. The time will come for you to pay me back.” Krolia joked around with her

“I better start keeping score of all the times you help me out so I can pay you back in full.”

“It’s not money. You don’t need to keep exact dates and amounts.” Krolia said and she gently took her hand back. Karai smiled at her and waved goodbye as she left the room. At that very moment that Karai left her room, Keith was walking in and he saw her leave. Since Karai had been laying down for so long, she walked a bit awkwardly.

“Mom, what’s going on?” Keith asked with a raised eyebrow. Krolia was still sitting on her bed when Keith came in.

“Ooooh. That does look a little weird.” Krolia said.

 

She did explain about what happened between herself and Karai and she kept the truth out in the open for Keith, but he only chuckled a bit.

“It’s fine. I was just shocked at seeing her come out of your room.” Keith said to her as he sat with her on the bed.

“What did you come here for?” She asked him with a small smile.

“Well, I have a big question for you.” 

“Ask me.”

“Well, what would you do if you knew someone you cared about does something that is considered a bit of an invasion of privacy?” Keith asked Krolia and she blinked in surprise. 

“Wow. I didn’t think you would ask about something like that. Does anyone else know what the person you really care about did?”

“Yes.”

“Did they approve?” She asked

“I wouldn’t say he approved of it, but they did the same thing with us,” Keith said. He was doing his best to keep the details vague, but it didn’t help Krolia in giving him any advice.

“Look Keith. I have no idea what you’re trying to convey to me. Why don’t you straight up tell me what happened? I won’t tell anyone. You know this.” She said to him gently.

“Alright. As long as you won’t tell.” 

“Unless it’s super dangerous.” She told him and Keith nodded.

 

Keith explained the entire situation to Krolia. From him noticing Lance following Karai around and into the bathroom, to hearing her throw up. And at last to them both telling Shiro about it the next day after eating with the rest of the team

“We think she’s doing it on purpose and I don’t know if we should tell her what we did or not do it again. I really don’t know.” Keith said and put his head in his hands.

“That is bad. So Shiro knows about this?” Krolia asked him, trying to comprehend the entire situation.

“He does. But I don’t think he knows what to do about it. None of us knows what we’re doing.” Keith was clearly exasperated, “Do I tell her what I do?” He asked.

“Keith, think about it. What good would she knowing about it do? She won’t trust us and we’ll be back to square one?” Krolia said to him.

“Okay. But how are going to help her?” Keith asked, “I may take a page out of your book and ‘accidentally’ catch her doing it.” Krolia said to him and she gently rubbed his shoulder, “No matter what happens though, you did the right thing and you more than likely saved her life.”

Hearing all of that filled in gaps in understanding for Krolia. It would explain why she was so thin and the trouble breathing. That all explained so much for Krolia and she didn’t like where it was going for her. Krolia mentally planned out what she would do when she heard Karai throwing up. It wasn’t an easy habit to break. She had seen it with Blades that couldn’t handle the pressure and they eventually leave the blades. Taking deep breaths she kept going through different scenarios in her mind of what could possibly happen when she ‘catches’ Karai in the act. She wanted nothing but to help her kick the habit and work to recovery.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I would like to point out here what I've done with the timeline. So Lotor has not yet been put into the quintessence field and is hiding out. That's why the Castle is still around. I will figure this into the canon timeline somehow just not here. Thanks to everyone who is reading this story. It makes me really happy to see people enjoying my work.

While Keith was sitting with Krolia, Karai had gone off and she was sitting in the large control room and staring out the large window, out at the insane amount of stars.

“Hey.” Karai heard someone say and she quickly turned around.

“Oh. Hello Green Paladin.” Karai said with a chuckle and she sat with her.

“Don’t call me that. My name is Katie, but everyone here calls me Pidge.” 

“That’s a bit of a jump in names. Why?” Karai asked her, a little bit confused.

“Long story short, I signed up to the garrison under the fake name after they kicked me out. I was trying to find my brother. So I cut my hair, pretended to be a boy and I got back in and they all fell for it.” Pidge chuckled and Karai smiled a bit.

“I’m Karai. Nice to meet you.” she held out her hand for her and Pidge shook her hand.

“So what are you doing out here?” 

“When I was little, my mom used to take me along with her while she worked. And I would just sit in front of the large windows. It makes me feel a little more at home this way.” Karai explained to her.

“What’s the Galra ship like?” Pidge questioned

“Well, I wasn’t allowed out a lot. But when I went out there, there were always soldiers patrolling up and down the halls, day and night. It’s a little scary. Especially for a child.” Karai admitted to her.

“A warship doesn’t sound like a safe place for any child,” Pidge observed with a small chuckle.

“It wasn’t. I can assure you. But it was externally one of the safest ships. Zarkon was aboard and no one dared to attack them.” Karai shrugged a bit.

“I do have a lot to learn about the Galra. We saw them as nothing but war loving beasts.”

“Don’t discount it. Many of us are.” Karai looked out the window, “So many are sadly there only because they are bound by blood. It can be hard to watch.”

“I do have to ask though if Lotor was the Prince. Does that make you a princess?” Pidge asked and Karai looked at her in a bit of surprise.

“I think it might. I wasn’t treated like one or anything. But then again, Lotor wasn’t treated very well by Zarkon either.” Karai said and she smiled at her. 

\---------------------

Now that she knew there was a very high chance that Karai would throw up everything she ate. Krolia could figure out why she ate the way she did. She didn’t eat with the fact she would need to feel comfortable enough to sleep. Karai was trying to stop the pain from not eating at all throughout the day. And watching even made her feel a little sad for her. She still kept an eye on her and needed to keep in the back of her mind that she would need to follow Karai to the bathroom later. She kept eating with the others and listened in on what the others were saying, even if she couldn’t participate. 

 

Karai stayed in her room for a little bit before she left for the bathroom so it didn’t look like she was going directly there and there would be some nutrients put into her bloodstream. Krolia still followed her from a big distance and she kept watching her and waited. Hearing what she heard, especially from someone she really cared about did cause some pain for her. Karai sounded like she was really hurting as she threw up. She had to stay back a little longer until Karai came out from the stall.

“Karai, are you okay?” She asked her and Karai looked up in surprise.

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine.” She said softly and went to the sink and started washing out her mouth.

“You didn’t sound alright.” 

“I think I just ate too much too fast.” Karai murmured.

“Are you sure?” Krolia asked her.

“Yeah. My stomach just started to hurt real bad. I probably just ate too fast again.” Karai told her and she cringed internally.

“Again? This has happened before?” Krolia asked in surprise. She knew that Keith had told her that Karai could have been doing this for a long while already.

“Only a few times. I swear it’s nothing bad.” Karai now needed to cover her tracks and fast.

“Okay.”

“I’m just going to go to bed. I’m sorry.” Karai said softly and Krolia nodded

“Just be safe.”

“I will.” Karai rubbed her eyes and she walked away from her. If she really had just eaten and felt nauseous, she would feel a lot weaker than what Krolia was seeing.

\-------------------

Karai didn’t eat breakfast the next day. She went straight to one of the training rooms and started training. She was wearing the black bodysuit that Allura had given her. Karai trained with her sword as much as she possibly could until she started feeling a bit of pain in her stomach. She kept fighting back the drones until she fell onto her knees holding her stomach. She had gotten used to the dull pains in her stomach and they had become a part of her life. But now it was getting much worse and almost impossible to ignore. Something was going wrong.

She did start feeling legitimately nauseous as she started to walk. It was the movement that was making her feel even sicker. She suddenly lurched forward and covered her mouth. She wasn’t forcing herself this time and something was wrong. She ran as fast as she could to the bathroom and practically collapsed in one of the stalls and started retching. There was nothing in her stomach left to throw up. This wasn’t like when she put her fingers down her throat and she could be quiet about it. This was uncontrolled. 

Allura was the one who heard her this time. Karai didn’t even have to shut the door behind her. 

“Karai? Are you okay?” Allura asked her as she slowly came up from behind her.

“I-I’m fine.” Karai spluttered out weakly while kneeling down and trembling.

“No. No, you’re not fine.” Allura said, “We have to get you one of the healing pods.”

“No. I’ll be alright without them.” Karai protested.

“If you’re sick you could infect the ship, Karai. You’re going in the pod.” Allura said and hoisted Karai up by pulling one arm over her shoulders and made her walk to the pods. Karai was too was to resist her and she just let her mover her through the castle.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: I've named Keith's father Heith because he needs a name

She sealed Karai into one of the pods and she ran a scan over Karai’s body to see what was wrong with her. The scans came back with some not so nice surprises that showed the many issues Karai was having within her body. Intestinal damage, throat damage and her weight was way below what it should have been. Something was very wrong with Karai and it could have eventually killed her if Allura hadn’t actually put her in the healing pod.

“The poor thing must have been in so much pain,” Allura said to herself and kept an eye on her heart rate. It was slightly irregular, but not enough to be bad for her.

“You’ll be safe here,” Allura said softly and she left. She knew that nothing could really happen in one of those healing pods that could cause any damage.

 

Obviously, Karai wasn’t there to eat with the others, but Allura hadn’t told anyone that she had put her in the healing pod or how she had found her.

“Hey, we’re missing someone,” Pidge said and counted everyone at the table.

“Karai isn’t here,” Keith said and his gaze met with Lance’s. They both had the exact same thought.

“I had to put her into one of the healing pods,” Allura told them, and that caught Krolia’s attention. Making her sit right up.

“What did you just say?” She asked.

“I found her in the bathroom. Poor thing was basically about to pass out on the floor.” Allura explained to her and Krolia’s face fell a little bit. She was quiet and she ate with the rest of the team. But in the back of her mind, she kept thinking about seeing Karai in the pod. 

 

She quickly left after she had finished and she found the only closed pod. Karai looked like she was fast asleep in there. She took a little look at the monitors in front of Karai to check up on her. She had seen all types of damage to internal organs before. There were always Blade of Marmora recruits that couldn’t take the pressure and turned to do things like that to themselves. It would explain her being so cold and her strained breathing as well and all that broke her heart a little bit. It was all self-inflicted and it reflected someone who was in a lot of pain.

 

Karai needed to be kept in the pod overnight and Allura let her out in the morning along with Krolia. She was a little shaky on her feet, but overall she was alright. But Krolia had some hard truths for her.

“Karai, we know.” She told her.

“You know what?” 

“What you’ve been doing to yourself.”

“What the quiznack are you talking about?” Karai asked with anger in her voice. Allura was slightly shocked that Karai used an Altean curse in the right context.

“Karai you’re forcing yourself to throw up. We know.” Krolia persisted.

“I’m not. I just got sick and it got blown a little out of proportion. That’s all.” Karai argued with them.

“We know you’re lying Karai. You’re hurting and this is your way of coping with it. It’s not a healthy way to deal with this, to say the least.”

“I’m not doing anything bad. It’s not hurting anyone.” She didn’t towards admit to it, but she still tried to defend herself against it all.

“It’s hurting you,” Allura said to her.

“And hurting yourself isn’t going to bring your wife and your son back,” Krolia shouted at her but instantly regretted it. Anger flooded Karai’s body and her purple iris’ became even smaller.

“Shut up! You don’t deserve to say anything about either of them!” Karai shouted back at her. Krolia reeled back a little bit from her.

“Karai… I didn’t mean it like that.” Krolia said softly and tried to get a little closer, but Karai stepped away from her.

“No! I don’t care what you have to say! You can’t talk about them ever!” Karai yelled at her with tears brimming in her eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Krolia apologised her, gently, “I would be upset if someone talked about Heith like that without knowing him.” Krolia was trying to keep her calm.

“But you have your son.” Karai spluttered out with tears running down her face and she stormed out of the room and back to her room with the tears running down onto her hand as she covered her mouth.

 

Any mention of Narti or their son would shatter her heart. She hadn’t been able to even mention them without falling into a fit of tears and sadness. She couldn’t seem to grasp what had really happened when her brother decapitated Narti in front of her eyes and when he later punched her right in the stomach, forcing her to lose her son as well. She took off the suit quickly and she touched the lower part of her stomach where Lotor hit her. Whenever she touched the spot, it sent a strange feeling out through the rest of her body. It left no physical scar, but the mental one was quite severe at losing the both of them. 

\----------------

She didn’t leave her room to eat or even be with the others. She just stayed in her bed. She was wrapped up in the blankets and just stayed still with her eyes closed. She didn’t open them until she heard someone knock on the door.

“Karai? It’s Shiro.”

“Go away,” Karai said with her back turned to the door.

“Karai, you haven’t left your room in three days.” 

“So?”

“So that’s pretty bad. You haven’t eaten or anything like that.”

“If I don’t eat I don’t throw up. Isn’t that what you guys wanted?” Karai asked him.

“We want you to be healthy and safe. Starving yourself isn’t going to get you there.” Shiro told her.

“What’s it to you? You lost your arm to the Galra.” she spat at him as she turned to face the door.

“But that doesn’t mean I suddenly want them to die. The Blades of Marmora aren't like the empire. You’re not part o the empire. You’re part of our team and I don’t want you to be dead or hurt.” Shiro said to her. That struck a chord with Karai and she got up and opened the door. 

“Alright.”

“Come on out then.” Shiro held a hand out for her.

“Let me go and have a shower first,” Karai said with a weak smile and she left to go to the bathroom.

 

She did as she said would and she got into the much-needed shower. She never realised how skinny she had gotten until she actually started rubbing the soap on. Her ribs stuck out and her shoulders were bony, to say the least. Doing this had seriously impacted her skills on the battlefield and leave her open to more injuries. Making her years of training worthless. She needed to change and if she didn’t she would end up in an early grave.

She actually sat with them for dinner. She kept in her mind that she wouldn’t throw it all back up again. So she couldn’t eat as much as she used to. Krolia needed to keep an eye on her after they finished eating to make sure that she didn’t throw up. She didn’t finish her food, but she overcame one huge hurdle already. She was able to admit that she needed to change. She was able to enjoy food for the first time in a long time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the long delay in updating. I've been swamped with schoolwork and trying to get a lot of my personal life back on track. But here is the new chapter

Karai went straight back to her room. She still was in her old routine. Krolia figured that it wouldn’t be good for Karai to be on her own like her old routine and accidentally fall back into those bad habits. But she knew it wouldn’t happen overnight. She had to break her out of it slowly. 

“Karai, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now. But I don’t think you should be on your own right now.” Krolia said through the door, “I’m really worried about you and I want to make sure you’re alright.” She said softly and leaned a little against the door.

“I...I’m fine.” She heard Karai say from behind the door. Krolia breathed a small sigh of relief at hearing her voice.

“You don’t have to let me in. But I don’t think you should be alone right now.” Krolia murmured. She heard the sounds of the door unlocking and Karai opened it slightly and poked her head out. Her eyes were red. 

“Why… did you need to bring them into it?” Karai asked her weakly.

“Bring who?”

“My wife… My son… Why did you need to bring them into this?” Karai asked in the same tone, “This has nothing to do with…”

“It has everything to do with them and you know it.” Krolia interrupted her.

“How do you know?” Karai asked.

“Because I’ve been there. Blades die all the time and we mourn every single time. We don’t just act like nothing ever happened.” Krolia explained to her and looked her in the eyes.

“I’m sorry.” Karai dropped her head and had her hand on the doorframe and Krolia gently placed her hand over Karai’s. She looked up at her in surprise.

“I shouldn’t have brought them into this. I should be the one who is sorry about what happened.” She apologised and Karai nodded a little bit.

“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have yelled at you the way I did.” Karai nodded to her and Krolia nodded back.

“What about we just go through to the control room and look up at the stars?” Krolia suggested for her.

“That’ll be fun,” Karai said softly and came out from the room. 

 

Krolia brought some of the cushions with her so they both had something comfortable to sit on.

“I used to do this with the Blades all the time. We’d land the ship and we’d map out stars on different planets.” Krolia said to her.

“That sounds so nice. The ship I was on kept moving. My brother and I could never map out the stars. We just liked to look at them.” Karai said softly, but she had a small smile on her face and Krolia chuckled softly.

“Am I right to assume that there were other kids on the ship?” Krolia asked.

“There were plenty, but since Lotor and I were half Galra, there was no way we could be friends with anyone else but each other,” Karai told her.

“So, you two were all each other had?”

“My adoptive mom, Dayak was also his teacher. So we all learnt together and we all were pretty close. But she still got super mad at us when we got stoned.” Karai giggled softly. Although she had been adamant about hating Lotor when she was sealed up, the way she talked about him made Krolia think that she really does love him. 

“On what?” Krolia asked while laughing.

“I wish I knew what it was.” Karai laughed with her. 

“That is crazy. I’ve never been able to get myself to do any kind of drugs. But I have drunk a lot of different drinks. Possibly with alcohol in them.” Krolia told her with a smile.

“I haven’t drunk a lot. Maybe the next time I can, I’ll get something to drink.”

“Just make sure Shiro doesn’t see,” Krolia warned.

“He won’t let us?” 

“No. He’ll want in on it. He’s stuck on a ship full of teenagers. He needs a drink.” Krolia chuckled softly.

“Yikes. That’s gotta suck a lot. He must have been so happy when you showed up.” Karai said.

“More of shocked since Keith just showed up one day with me, Romelle and the space wolf.” 

“The poor dude.” Karai chuckled softly and leaned back into the cushions. 

 

They stayed together under the stars until they both ended up laying down on the cushions. Krolia accidentally fell asleep first. Karai had a soft chuckle, but she ended up falling asleep as well with her. They ended up sleeping side by side for the rest of the artificial night. Krolia was the first one to wake up and she looked around, trying to figure out what happened. She was on the floor and sleeping Karai beside her. Then she remembers that she and Karai had been up late talking. And they both must have fallen asleep out in the open. She could get a little better look at Karai without her knowing. She was still very slim, but with a little more food she would even out a little bit. She had a twitch in her wrists and her ankles while she slept. It made Krolia chuckle softly and she gently shook Karai’s shoulder.

“Hey,” she whispered and shook her a little more. Karai let out a small groan and she rolled over. 

“Come on Karai. We gotta get up.” Krolia said gently and Karai’s eyes opened slightly.

“Wha?” She asked tiredly, making Krolia smile.

“We fell asleep out here last night.” She told her as she sat up.

“Did anyone come in?” Karai asked worriedly.

“Not that I know of.” Krolia smiled and looked around, “But there is one huge upside to it.”

“What is it?”  
“When you sleep, your tongue sticks out a little bit.” Krolia teased her a little bit.

“Thanks for… letting me talk. It felt nice.” Karai said to her with a smile.

“You’re welcome. You can always come and talk to me.”

\--------------

Karai finally ate an entire breakfast and in turn, she went to one of the training rooms. She had the energy to get an accurate time reading of the exercises. Krolia decided to watch as she trained. Dual blades with almost no chance of blocking. But even with that, Karai did seem to leave herself quite open to enemy attacks. But she was really quick with her moves. It made up for the gaps in her defence.  
‘She would have made a good Blade.’ Krolia thought while she watched. She was an ample fighter and she still could join them if she really wanted to.

The buzzer went off and the drones all stopped shooting at her.  
“Not dizzy again are you?” Krolia asked her.

“Nope. Not today.” Karai said.

“So the food definitely helps with that problem,” Krolia said with a chuckle and came over to her.

“It must have. Now it’s a case of keeping it down.” Karai shrugged a little bit.

“But I do have something to show you.” Krolia said and come over and stood behind Karai, “Show me how you defend with the two blades.” Krolia walked around her and she smiled softly.  
“Protected. Now attack,” she said and she went to attack and froze there.

“There we go. You left yourself open.” Krolia said and she walked behind her. She reached over her shoulder and she moved one of her arms back a little. 

“Now you’re still protected.” She still had a smile, “Now try again.” she told her as she watched.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this story a try. It's up here mainly because I lost a bet about what would happen in Season 8 with my friends I thought narti would come back but my friends told me otherwise. guess who lost, but this is good practice for me. Please tell me what you think and where you think I can improve :)


End file.
